Here I am, at the beginning of a new semester. My lineup of classes is, theoretically, pretty darn awesome. Except for one thing.
My Advanced Fiction Writing class is populated by idiots.
Perhaps that's not fair. After all, I'm used to reading books done by professional authors, which these kids definitely are not. Published works have generally been gone over with a fine-toothed comb, while the stuff I had inflicted on me today has never before seen the light of day. That kind of thing.
HOWEVER, there is no excuse for the following:
1. Zero character development. I read 10 pages of someone's fantasy novel, and I had no idea who any of these people were.
2. Atrocious dialogue. This comes in two subcategories:
a. Convoluted sentences that are absurdly hard to decipher
b. Dialogue that is forced. By this I mean that the dialogue flows from the author's needs, not who the characters are and how they think/speak.
3. Expecting the reader to suspend disbelief past the point of reasonableness. I was presented with a world that was so out there, even I couldn't get in it, and I am a passionate Doctor Who fan. I love far-out stuff, and this was so far-out it even turned ME off.
4. Egregious errors in grammar. 'Nuff said.
Come ON, people. This is, after all, an ADVANCED class. You should have at least some grasp of character development by this point, not to mention all the other bits. I'm sure all this sounds terrible egocentric, but come on. I've had a grasp of this mess for ages. Catch up already!
I'm in your advanced fiction class, and I agree with you completely. Some of what we have read is not very good, but I think you should have a little more sympathy for them. This is probably the first time a lot of them have had a workshop class or shown their work to anyone but their family and friends, so their atrociousness should have some forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteI was pretty damn terrible when I started, not saying I'm really all that talented now, but these things take time.
Hope my story wasn't that "10 pages of someone's fantasy novel" that you hated. Though mine had 15, which may be worse if you didn't dig it. :) Actually, I don't think you read mine because I never got a critique from you, and now I'm a tad scared for the day you tear me to shreds. Haha.
-Andrew Helms
I know. I was having a really bad day when I wrote this... I tend to use this blog for rants :/
ReplyDeleteThat's alright. I enjoy a good rant every now and then.
ReplyDeleteI have one myself. You know what's worse than reading a story that makes you want to rip your eyes out? Getting a copy of your own manuscript back where someone has, thinking they understand grammar, marked out almost every comma you used and given you invalid reasons for why they are not appropriate there. Oh, and tell you that the contraction "he'd" can only stand for "he had". Gaw! I wanted to kill. And the worse part is you can't tell them they are absolutely wrong without coming off like an ass.
Well, that was my rant. :)
Andrew