1. Potty usage is never to be regular. This keeps them on their toes.
2. Stinky feet are wonderful.
3. Poop is a treasure to be jealously guarded. Anyone attempting to remove it requires a good kicking.
4. Water warmer than 70 degrees will melt you. This is a scientific fact.
5. Only the teeth on the left side of your mouth need to be brushed.
6. Potties eat toilet paper, and they must be fed regularly. Toilet paper serves no other purpose.
7. "Bath time" is code for "socially acceptable child abuse".
8. Shampoo is a vile poison.
9. The delicate fragrance of unwashed boy is to be cherished, even if this requires throwing a huge temper tantrum at the mention of washing.
And #10...
Always use your napkin at the dinner table.
And don't forget taking mommy's sanitary napkins, stripping the paper strip off and gleefully sticking said "pads" to the bathroom walls, face, and the bottom of their diapers. We're full grown adults. Why didn't we know thats what those things are REALLY for. I swear I should'a had a camera.
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